Mom Club with Tracy Kessler
Photo courtesy of Tracy Kessler
Sometimes a mom’s Mom Club responses are so moving and honest that I’m brought to tears reading them. Tracy Kessler’s Mom Club responses are of that kind. Tracy, a deep-rooted North Forker and seasoned large-scale event producer, who has publicly shared her journey of motherhood and life, doesn’t hold back when sharing her experience raising her daughter, Tillie (age 4), whom she conceived through IVF and is raising as a single mother by choice. And, while I can’t speak for every North Forker, I can certainly speak for myself and share that I am wholeheartedly rooting for her, and I think you will too.
Read on as Tracy shares mothering on the North Fork in our monthly Mom Club — a Q&A with local North Fork moms.
Mom Club is made possible by The Stretch Garden — your place on the North Fork for recovery and rejuvenation, reimagined.
Q: Describe your parenting style in three words:
Tracy: Honest, intentional, collaborative.
Q: What is your favorite thing about motherhood?
Tracy: Watching this incredible human being explore and learn and grow, knowing that she is a part of me; knowing that I went to extreme lengths to bring her into existence and that she will do amazing things in this world.
Q: What’s your least favorite thing about motherhood?
Tracy: The moments that force me to look in the mirror and confront my own shortcomings. Motherhood tests my patience in ways nothing else ever has, often bringing me face-to-face with the parts of myself I still need to work on. In those moments, I have to rely on every tool in my toolbox to pause, take a deep breath, recenter, and remember the kind of role model I want to be for my daughter.
Q: Would you change anything about motherhood? Tell us.
Tracy: I would change the pressure mothers feel to do everything perfectly. We’re often held to unrealistic standards that leave little room for mistakes, growth, or simply being human. I hope that by sharing my story honestly, I can help normalize the reality that motherhood isn’t about perfection — it’s about love, resilience, and doing the best we can.
Q: In your opinion, what makes raising children on the North Fork unique?
Tracy: On the North Fork, there’s a sense of time standing still. The feeling of community takes you back to a time when things were simpler. Tillie rides her bike around our block with all the neighbors waving and sharing in her journey. Given the unique nature of our birth story, it always feels like the whole North Fork is cheering us on.
Q: What role does nature play in raising your children?
Tracy: Nature is woven into our everyday life. My daughter is an outdoor kid through and through and chooses to be outside whenever possible. Living just steps from the beach, we make an effort to get down to the bay almost every day, no matter the weather. The beaches, farms, and open spaces of the North Fork are such a gift, and they’ve become an important part of how we connect, play, and grow together.
Q: What's your favorite recent thing that you've done with your children on the North Fork?
Tracy: We’ve really gotten into yard-sailing lately. I’m teaching her how to bargain, and it’s fun to watch her hunt for treasures. She gets a nominal budget for the weekend, and we go from sale to sale searching for the pre-loved items that need a new home with us.
Q: What's your children's favorite thing you've recently done together on the North Fork?
Tracy: We’ve loved spending time at Art Lab at Hotel Moraine, making upcycled creations together. Repurposing everyday materials is a big part of our creative life at home, so finding a community space that celebrates that same spirit has been wonderful. It’s been a joy to create, connect with others, and watch Tillie’s imagination run wild in such a beautiful setting.
Q: What is one thing every child should experience on the North Fork?
Tracy: The Mosaic Chalk Art Festival in Riverhead. Whether creating your own masterpiece in a square on the pavement or simply walking around admiring the incredible artwork, it’s a magical experience for kids and adults alike. It’s a day that brings together art, music, food, and community, transforming downtown Riverhead into a vibrant celebration of creativity. It’s one of those uniquely North Fork experiences every child should have at least once.
Q: Mothering lasts long after we're gone. It becomes the values that live within our children for their whole lives, too. What are some things that you hope your children carry with them forever?
Tracy: We have a saying in our home: ‘My love mixed with your love makes all the love in the world.’ From a young age, I’ve taught Tillie that love is infinite — that you can give someone or something your whole heart and still have more love to share. In a world that can sometimes feel divided by fear, anger, and uncertainty, I hope she carries that belief with her. More than anything, I hope she remembers that kindness is a choice, love is abundant, and that she has the power to be the love she wishes to see in the world.